let summer be summer
we're lucky to be here now
2024 is apparently brat summer, inspired by Charli XCX’s sixth studio album. While I have not closely followed Charli’s career over the years, I saw her perform in 2012 when she was an opener on Coldplay’s Mylo Xyloto tour. From brat, I do enjoy the “Apple” song and the vulnerability it conveys. And speaking as a chronically uncoordinated person (my lack of poise and maneuverability was so evident in my childhood ballet class that I needed additional one-on-one lessons with my teacher), I appreciate the seamless choreography of the fun TikTok dance that goes along with it.
On the contrary, an album I’m diving into a lot lately is Clairo’s third album, Charm. I find it so soothing and sonically cohesive—each song is filled with a blend of wonder and whimsy that we could all use a little more of.
While I was setting up for book club at the beginning of the month, I was chatting with the shop owner that I collaborate with for hosting and expressed my excitement for fall. And while we both shared a desire for cozy scents and pulling our sweaters out of storage, she said something that has cascaded to my social media algorithms: “I know I shouldn’t wish time away.”
It didn’t occur to me how alarming it is that we immediately switch from summer to fall as soon as July is over, when August doesn’t mark the end of anything at all—it’s another beginning, and there’s so much left to enjoy.
Maybe I’m biased, but the month of August is more sentimental for me, as it contains a few notable memories—meeting my partner, the offer on our home being accepted, a phone call confirming the surgery I had wanted for years would be covered by insurance, the last night I held my childhood pet—you get it. And now, because 2024 has proven to be full of surprises, August will additionally be known as the month our house was hit by a tornado and knocked out the grid in multiple counties throughout Ohio.
This month used to fill me with dread in my teens and early twenties because it meant the start of another school year and perhaps I didn’t spend enough time reading or journaling like I promised myself I would. But I’m comforted by the other working adults who pop up in my TikTok feed exclaiming “Just so you know, summer isn’t over for us! We have a whole month left!”
And, of course, Taylor Swift has made “august” a national anthem at this point, the breathy opening words of “salt air…” instantly recognizable to those who hear them.
All of this being said, here is a list of things I’ve been indulging in this summer:
Cherries — Stone fruit season is one of the small luxuries I look forward to each year. I would eat an entire bag of cherries in one sitting if I could. Every morning, I go into my fridge and grab a handful from the most recent bag I’ve procured from the grocery store. I either place them in a ramekin I bought at Target many moons ago or a plastic bag for the days I’m commuting to work.
Georgia O’Keeffe — In June, I went on my first work trip, to Chicago. In the weeks leading up to it I discovered that Georgia O’Keeffe had a new exhibit at the Art Institute, “My New Yorks.” I had my heart set on going, despite not knowing what my schedule would allow. But, it all worked out and I hurriedly purchased my tickets. O’Keeffe’s paintings have been a source of comfort and inspiration for me over the years, having seen an exhibit in 2019 at home in Cleveland called “Living Modern.” “My New Yorks” was particularly moving for me, as I never imagined seeing a city I admired so much through her unique lens. As I walked through the gallery, I couldn’t help but think of all the other occasions in which I was wandering a museum by myself, surrounded by strangers. Nothing was expected of me but to admire, and so I did just that.
I was thankful to have a couple of hours to be anonymous there, my anxiety about the week ahead temporarily at bay, where I would be far from home, confined to a place where everyone knew my name and I would be needed for something.
Hosting - The word “community” has been intimidating to me throughout my twenties, as I’ve struggled to define it in the five years since I stopped being a full-time student—it’s so much easier to meet people when things are organized for you to do so. I’ve experienced a lot of growing pains when it comes to wanting to start something of my own or even invite people over because I didn’t know what exactly I was hoping for—was it popularity? The need to impress? Part of growing up is realizing that you have to be willing to be vulnerable in order to make others feel welcome.
For years, I’ve been dreaming and talking about starting my own book club, and this summer I was finally able to set it in motion—which meant I was right for waiting. The first meeting was in July and by the end of the night I was beaming, because I felt like something in me had come back to life—I had missed talking about books with that certain level of intention. Truthfully, I’ve always loved hosting, having grown up watching my mother transform tables for her own gatherings. I live for the preparation of it all, going to the grocery store, selecting flowers and putting them in vases, creating a playlist. I met my goal of having at least one party in our backyard this year—we ended up needing to take our dining room chairs outside to accommodate everyone. When they left, I didn’t focus on the night’s ending—I was thrilled to have the proof that we were all there, together, at the same table in the yard of our little street, where so many different lives were happening all at once.
Dopamine Dressing - This year is the first summer where I haven’t been filled with panic about how to present myself. The way I dress is such a huge part of who I am, but I often used clothes as a way to hide, which left me feeling quite uncomfortable and sad for a long time—fashion was something I wanted to participate in but didn’t feel good enough for, even on my own terms. Since having breast reduction surgery last November, I’ve been able to fully enjoy selecting outfits for the office and outings with my friends. I don’t like buying shorts since it’s only warm for a short amount of time where I live (and as a 5’2” lady my weight tends to fluctuate) so I’ve been wearing a lot of thrifted/secondhand midi-length skirts, striped button-downs, loafers, and dresses I already own. I daringly spring for jeans if it isn’t going to be 90 degrees outside.
(Slowmaxxing) Reading - I’ve been trying to take my time with books rather than treating each title as a race to a mental finish line. I don’t have a strict routine for myself with reading but I find that I read more when I pack a book in my work bag to read on the bus. So far I’ve made my way through Giovanni’s Room by James Baldwin, Luster by Rachel Leilani, Winter Love by Han Suyin, The Last Book Party by Karen Dukess, and my book club selections. I tend to fall into a pattern of reading multiple things at once, especially essay collections, so it’s worth noting here that I’ve also been enjoying Any Person is the Only Self by Elisa Gabbert, and Arbela lent me My Husband by Maud Ventura which I will finish one of these days…
Sorry for being such a stranger here lately—believe me when I say it’s been weighing on me to write to you all. In the time that has elapsed since I initially started this draft everyone has pivoted quickly from saying “brat” to “very demure, very mindful” which has left me equally amazed and confused. Nonetheless, whichever niche Internet phenomenon you fall under, I hope this summer has been to your liking.
I loved this piece from
which chronicles her feelings about wearing glasses and how they’ve changed over time. I Don’t Feel Like Myself Without My Glasses - from Small Pleasures.“August is a faded month, here in the heartland of summer, a month of mystery doors.” - Still Life With Fruit by
.“I want to express my gratitude for the people I used to be and for the pieces of them that assemble the mosaic of my identity.” — from being your “selves” by
.“How much of myself should I be sharing? Should I wrap it up in fiction instead of half-truths, winding stories and explanations?” from you exist too much by
.
Loved this so much! So true about how quickly these internet phenomenons shift haha. And thank you for the shoutout <3